"He'll show life to you."

Today was a strange day. No complaints really, just strange. I have a new job that I like a lot. I am still trying to get used to the new routine, but my new co-workers are great.

For some reason as I sit here now, it feels strange. I feel like things in my life today were not connecting. I feel like I am walking around with a bubble suit on and everyone else is too. No one is connecting. We are all just bouncing along bumping in to each other occasionally, but not connecting.

I'm not sure what is going to happen with my church. I spend a lot of time being unhappy about how things are going and less and less time being happy about good things that are happening. I am concerned that it is because there are fewer and fewer good things happening. This really bothers me because often I try to make something positive out of everything. It is becoming harder and harder to make things out to be positive. Its really tough to know what to do. Every person should expect highs and lows in their lives, at their jobs, and even at their church. At what point does it stop becoming a temporary low and begin to become something that is just not right. I have a feeling I am about to find out.

Today I also got a lawn letter from the neighborhood association. If you know much about me, you probably know that a letter telling me that I am in violation of the neighborhood covenants because the weeds in my yard are excessive really doesn't go over too well. This is not my first letter since living in our new home. The first letter came at a time when it had rained for about two weeks straight with virtually zero time to mow the yard. And to make things worse, I had actually just had an opportunity to mow the day before the letter got to me in the mail. I was furious. I emailed, I tried calling, I ranted and raved over the nerve of sending me a violation letter when my yard had been cut even after weeks of wet weather. I sent a letter pointing out that the entrance to the neighborhood was in pretty poor shape and was doing more damage to the values of our homes than my yard. But you know, it now just seems pointless.

Yardwork is second to the top of the list of things I dislike. And yardwork in Florida between April and October is miserable. Sweating is #1 on the list. Nothing good comes out of yardwork. I have to spend time away from my wife and daughters during times when I would normally be with them. It is extremely hot 90% of the time. I get a migraine 80% of the time. I spend the remainder of the day trying to recover from the yardwork. Fire ants. Fire ants. Fire ants.

It's days like today that I need to take stock in my situation. I saw a marquee on a church the other day that said, "Count your blessings and then thank God for each one of them."

A few days ago I got to spend some time with some friends. We sang this song.

Have you seen Jesus my Lord? He's here in plain view.

Take a look, open your eyes; He'll show life to you.

Jesus,

I really don't understand why there has to be fire ants, but I am really sorry that my attitude sucks so bad. Sorry for saying sucks, but that is pretty much how it is. I'm sorry that I have not reflected your light today. I am sorry that I have been impatient and disconnected and selfish. You came down from your royal throne to take on the life of a human and accepted the most horrible treatment and then sacrificed your life on the cross for me. I suppose a fire ant bite is not nearly as bad as the pain you endured. I guess our days are not always great so when can feel all mopey and miserable and then reflect on your gift to us through your sacrifice and understand just how blessed our lives really are.

I am sorry for losing sight of what matters most.

Please guide me and my family to where you want us to go.

Amen