Something's missing

Do you ever really miss something? Right now I live pretty far from my parents and my brother and his kids. You kinda have to get used to not seeing them, when there is such a great geographical difference between you and your family. You also have to get used to missing other things like being around to go to OU home games or occasionally running in to friends from college or high school. Sometimes you just miss being in an environment that is familiar to you. But, you get used to it and you start to adapt to your new environment. You begin building new relationships and as is my case, building your own family.

But sometimes I find myself really missing things. This past week I have been troubled by a couple things that I miss. First, and most painful, I have really been missing our dog, Sunny. Sunny was the sweetest long-haired chihuahua you could ever meet. Amy, my wife, got Sunny as a puppy when we were in college about 13-14 years ago. Sunny was always by our side, always eager to sit in our laps, always loving to be petted, always looking at you with her big brown eyes wondering what you were going to do next. Sunny was an integral part of our family. Last year, Sunny died. It was one of the worst pains I have ever felt in my life. I know that my daughter, Emma, misses Sunny too, because she often talks about things that she remembers doing with Sunny. Sunny was a great friend and it pains me to even think about starting a new relationship with another dog. I am so afraid that it just won't be the same or even that we'll get attached and something bad will happen. I suppose that it just part of life and a risk worth taking. I do know that Sunny can never be replaced and will always be missed by our family.

I also have found myself missing another old friend. Another friend made in college. When I was a sophomore at OU, I had a roommate who rarely stayed in our apartment. I pretty much had a two bedroom apartment to myself for half the price. There was this guy named, Cad, who I was friends with. We were both in the marching band and we both spent a lot of time in the band room lounge in between classes. We had another friend, Autumn. We all had similar interests and got along pretty well. One day, as I was getting ready to go on a men's basketball pep band trip to the Big 8 tournament in Kansas City, I get a phone call from Cad. He had a flat tire on his way to the band room and he wondered if I could give him a ride. Little did I know that our friendship was beginning to grow to a new level. You see, Cad, commuted to school from another town and his car was just not handling the commute as well at it should. Cad ended up taking over my roommate's room and stayed with me for the rest of the year.

That summer we worked together and tragically, Cad's home was struck by lightning and got burned up pretty bad. He lived with me at my parent's house and we rode to work together. That summer we also took a rode trip. A trip I will never forget because I learned a great deal about Cad and I learned a great deal about the wonder of God's creation. Although at the time, I am not sure I was making the God connection. Cad was full of car tricks. He would suddenly scream at the top of his lungs, HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Every time I would nearly die of a heart attack as I would look over to see him point at bales of hay on the side of the road. He also played a really good trick on me outside of Amarillo, Texas. We were driving and he reached over to turn the A/C over to Vent and he flipped the fan to High. Next thing I know the most awful stench is filling the car. We just drove into a huge cattle town and the smell would knock you over. I know because it lingered in the car for a long time.

But it wasn't all joking. We drove through the night and at one point out in the farthest reaches of west Texas Cad told me to pull the car over. He had something he wanted to show me. We pulled over and got out of the car. Cad said, "Look." I didn't see anything. I said, "I don't see anything." And Cad said, "I know, isn't awesome." We were in such a remote area that you could not see any lights whatsoever. No far off street light, no farm porch lights, no airplanes in the sky or oncoming cars. It was pitch black and completely serene. We just stood there and took in the whole experience. Cad was definitely thinking on a higher plane than I. At the time, I don't think Cad was a Christian, but I do believe that he was curious about the God who created such majestic beauty on this earth. We spent more time later on the trip taking in the beauty of the Rockies. At that time in my life, I was completely shallow and selfish and I don't think my mind was absorbing much of anything. Just ask my parents about my grades back then. But Cad introduced me to the notion that there were things beyond my little sphere that I needed to think about.

That next school year, Cad and I shared an apartment. We had lots of great times together, but I especially remember the times when the two of us, just sat alone in the darkness of our living room or maybe on a walk and shared our thoughts. I really miss my friend Cad.

Cad left school early to join the Navy. He spent his time in the Aleutian Islands. If you are not smarter than a fifth grader, just kidding, the Aleutian Islands are between Alaska and Russia and it is really cold there. A few years after Cad got out of the Navy, he married our friend, Autumn. Autumn was a very strong Christian and continually, yet kindly, let me know that there was more to life. Cad became a Christian and not long after their wedding, Amy and I moved to Florida. Since then we have been out of touch.

Cad's real name is Cadmus. I googled him a year or so ago and found his blog. He and my wife, she has a blog too, inspired me to start a blog. Uniquely enough, both my wife and Cad pushed me to grow personally. Cad introduced to me that there was more to life than what I was experiencing at the time and my wife gave me the confidence to attempt graduate school and succeed. I am extremely grateful to both of them. I have tried to contact Cad, but he either doesn't know I tried to reach him or doesn't want to be reached. I recently found out that he was starting a college and career program at a church he was attending. You will never guess what he wants to do. He wants to provide an outlet for college kids and 20 something kids to explore the concept of God, to ask questions that are definitely not stupid questions and to learn that as they are separating themselves from the grip of their parents that God is there to guide them through one of the toughest periods of their lives.

I suppose that the best way to ease the pain of missing someone is to consider yourself blessed to have had the chance to know them and learn from them. And move forward in your life feeling fortunate for the times you once had.

Sunny and Cad, I miss you.

Ephesians 5:15-20(NLT) So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil days. Don't act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. Then you will sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.